the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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