explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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