Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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