Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
