How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize