you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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