What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
