There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
