I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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