When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize