Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
