That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
