I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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