I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
