I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
