i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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