What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
