once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
