everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
