I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
