I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Houston, we have a squirter
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
