just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
