Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
MIDGETS
????
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
