Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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