Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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