she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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