doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
