You smell like stripper and shame
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
