I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize