yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize