dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
