Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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