I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
