Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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