I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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