oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
worst night to have a conscience
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
