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I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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