And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.