some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
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We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.