What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround