Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick