dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.