We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
