i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
