Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
