Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize