Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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