so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
