He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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