I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
