Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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