I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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