I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
