my cup is half full, half full of rum.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
