ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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