I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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