Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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