drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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