Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
