Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
