so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
