I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
