So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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