Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
