Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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