went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you had me at cake vodka
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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