i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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