Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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