that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
