i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
