I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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