don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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