I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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